The Myth of “Doing It All”

Shift Ahead: You don’t have to keep pushing through. This chapter unpacks why the pressure to ‘do it all’ is unfair—and how releasing that pressure can lead to real healing.

In Practice: I once tried to keep up with everyone around me—neurotypical colleagues, friends with packed calendars, people who seemed to thrive on multitasking. I made to-do lists that looked impressive but felt like shackles. I pushed through exhaustion with caffeine and guilt.

I didn’t realize that my brain worked differently—that I needed more recovery time after every interaction, more structure to avoid overload. I thought I was falling behind, but really, I was forcing myself into someone else’s pace.

Letting go of “doing it all” was terrifying—but it gave me back my capacity to live my life, not a borrowed one.

"Just try harder" is a lie.

So is "You can be anything if you just work for it."

These messages ignore how different people’s brains, bodies, and bandwidths work. And for neurodivergent folks, they can be deeply harmful.

You’ve probably worked twice as hard to be understood, to fit in, to prove you're not “too much” or “too little.” That’s not laziness. That’s resilience. But even resilience needs rest.

You don’t need to do it all. You need space to do what matters—and time to recover afterward.

Shift Question: What if you weren’t meant to carry everything?

Shift Notes:

• You’ve already done more than most people realize.

• Productivity isn’t proof of your worth.

• Permission granted to put something down.

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Try This: Write a list of everything you’re currently trying to manage or “keep up with.” Then cross off one thing you can release this week.